Character in Marriage - GENTLENESS

 

I hope these articles on character have been a blessing and an eye-opener to you. Marriage is work. It is hard work and that is why happily-ever-after does not just happen; you have to work at it. When a couple first get married, they believe that it will be happily ever after but a lot of the time, they will not do the work that happily-ever-afters demands. 

They expect that their love for each will help them through any tough times but this is not true. For those who are married or have been in relationships, you will agree that love is not enough to keep a relationship strong. That is why we have been learning about godly character and like I have said over and over during these series, christian marriages would have a better chance of survival if the parties in the marriage exhibited godly character. 

So we will go back to our theme scripture, Galatians 5:22-23.

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, [gentleness, self-control. Against such there is no law - Galatians 5:22-23 NKJV

The character trait we are studying today is GENTLENESS. Now, when you think about gentleness, what comes to mind? The dictionary defines gentleness as the quality of being kind, tender and careful while in the Bible, gentleness is showing care and respect for others in the way you act and speak. It is associated with humility, meekness and compassion. The Bible speaks of God crowning us with loving kindness and tender mercies (Psalm 103:4). That is gentleness being described right there. God is the Almighty and all powerful God but he is also a loving gentle and kind God and we should not be any less. 

Many women expect men to be gentle with them. In fact, gentleness is a character trait that women expect men to exhibit. Women are weaker so men need to be gentle with them and this is true. The bible even says so too. 

In the same way, you husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way [with great gentleness and tact, and with an intelligent regard for the marriage relationship], as with someone physically weaker, since she is a woman. Show her honor and respect as a fellow heir of the grace of life, so that your prayers will not be hindered or ineffective - 1 Peter 3:7 AMP

This says it all. "Live with her with great gentleness and tact….as someone who is physically weaker because she is a woman". So the Bible also expects men to treat women with gentleness but men are not the only ones expected to be gentle in their dealings with others. You see, the character traits in Galatians 5:22-23 are not gender specific; they are for everyone. Women are also expected to exhibit this character trait. Women should also show care and respect when they speak to men and their husbands in particular. They should be tender and careful showing humility, meekness and compassion. 

This would reflect in situations where there is a disagreement for example. The wife should be careful and compassionate in her speech and the husband should do the same. Remember, we are reflecting godly character here. In 1 Peter 3:4, it speaks of women's beauty not being limited to the outward (their clothes, their jewelry and their hair) but that it should include a gentle and quiet spirit. It says that in God's eyes, a gentle and quiet spirit is very precious.

Esther was described as a young woman who was chosen for her beauty and humility which was expressed in the way she obeyed her uncle and listened to Hegai the custodian of the women. Esther was meek, humble, respectful and careful in her dealings in the palace. She was humble and gentle and it paid off; as she became the new queen. Jesus was also described as having a gentle and humble nature in Matthew 11:29.

Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls - Matthew 11:29 NLT

Jesus was humble and gentle and it didn't make him weak or any less the Messiah. In Ephesians 4:2, it says we should be humble and gentle. 

Always be humble and gentle. Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other’s faults because of your love: Ephesians 4:2 NLT

Make this your motto from now on. Be humble and gentle with each other. It doesn't mean you are weak. Make allowance for each other's faults because of your love. We always expect others to be understanding and patient when we are wrong, so we should not do any less to others. So, be humble, be gentle and understanding with others.

See you next week ❤️