Tywo Things

“Baby, I want to say something…” Every time I start a sentence with the above phrase, my husband drops whatever he is doing and pays attention. And whenever he says, ‘There is something on my mind’, I drop everything too. We have both learnt that those words mean the other person is about to say something that is so important we both need to pay attention.  We weren't always like this though. In the beginning (and from time to time), I still struggle to get the words out but because I have a loving patient partner, he helps me to get out whatever is on my mind. Writing my thoughts has never been a problem though. I never stumble when I write my thoughts but anyway……  Saying what really matters is a huge problem in relationships, especially in marriage. Communication is still one of the things that destroys marriage and you have to wonder why. Afterall, there was no problem communicating during courtship. The guy fell in love with the girl and chased after her trying to make it...

I have some good news for you today!!! Have you ever had someone come up to you and say, “I have good news and bad news; which one do you want to hear first”. There are people who hear this and say, “Tell me the bad news first….” because they want the Good news to cushion the shock of the bad news. And there are those who prefer to hear the Good news first. They want to be happy and believe that in the euphoria the Good news provides, they will be able to handle the bad news.  Everybody loves Good news. We want to hear news that brings us joy and excitement. Whenever my husband or children tell me they have good news, I get excited as I wonder what it will be. Of course, sometimes it's just silly news like a new burger place that has just opened up or that my daughter is about to watch her favorite show in our room while we're out of town. It is silly news, not really great or good news but it makes us happy and makes us laugh.  The same thing cannot be said about bad news tho...

Beef Stew with the TOMATO BLEND Now things are about to get interesting as we start cooking for real.  A beef stew is made differently depending on where you are from. There are beef stews with potatoes and carrots, beef stews with celery, peas and onions. There are beef stews with butternut squash, beef stews with red wine and beef stews with green bell peppers and there are beef stews that are eaten with bread. However our beef stew will not have any of these. Our only base (and it is a MUST) - is the tomato blend. Our attention will be on the beef today and how we cook the beef is very important.  My beef of choice is beef shin. Beef shin is beef from the bottom portion of either the front or rear of a cow leg. It has a lot of connective tissue and this tissue breaks down when it is slow cooked through casseroling or braising. Casseroling is when you slow cook by baking while braising is to slow cook by putting the beef in a tightly covered pot that seals in the heat and al...

  Can you feel it?  Sometimes when there is tension in an office, no one can say anything but everybody can feel it. The boss might be angry or upset about something and while nobody says anything, everyone who comes around them feels the tension. The secretary, the receptionist or another member of staff might even send out a cautionary message like, ‘Avoid Mr A because he's in a foul mood’; and everyone will do just that. And if Mr. A calls for a staff meeting, everyone then walks on eggshells around him. Why? They can all feel the tension.  The same thing happens in school. One student says something about another student and this then creates tension and can even lead to physical fights.  The same thing can happen in a family. In fact, I'm of the opinion that the best place to practice walking in love is within the family. Nobody can annoy, upset or misunderstand us like family can. They see us at our best and worst and so they are best placed to annoy or make us...

Every week, we look forward to what the week will bring. There are those who like to plan their week well ahead of time. Others will plan their week over the weekend. They plan their outfits for the office and for events that will occur in the course of the week. They plan the events, the meetings and trips they will make that week. The idea is to make sure that things run nicely and that there are no surprises. Of course, we can never plan for every single thing that will occur during the week but people still try. If I am having a dinner party at home for example, (and I often do); I start planning two weeks before the event at the least. I plan the meal, source for my ingredients, make a budget and call in and prepare the people I will need to help with serving; and I normally let them know what time to arrive. I call the fish man well ahead of time if fish will be on the menu and I even make contingency plans in case it's not available. I plan, plan and plan and still get surpr...

 Practice will make Perfect My daughter Kalpa, suggested we watch a Netflix documentary on David Beckham and so we did. David Beckham is a former professional footballer and former captain of the British team. His accolades are long and quite impressive. He has won 19 major trophies in his career, and is the first English player to win league titles in four different countries. His signature style of bending a ball is stellar, hence the phrase “Bend it like Beckham”. He could kick the ball so it would curve around obstacles making it hard for goalkeepers to track and catch.  It is a very inspiring documentary but what struck me was his wife Victoria. A former Spice Girl (a British Girl band that was hugely popular in the 1990s and early 2000s), a fashion designer and television personality. The story of how Victoria stood with her husband through thick and thin was truly inspiring. She would grudgingly follow him as he played for various teams in various countries. She said sh...

Making it Seamless From the point when we wake up each morning to the point when we go to bed, we carry out all sorts of little routines seamlessly and these things are called our daily routine.  A routine is a sequence of actions followed regularly and everyone has them. Everyone has their own daily routine but we don't think of them as routines. We have done those things everyday for decades so we do them without thinking. Physical daily routines involve getting up in the morning, brushing your teeth, taking a shower, fixing your hair, dressing up and putting on some makeup (if you are a lady). The routine continues as you go to work, have your meals, make calls, go online (sometimes at around the same time daily), and at the end of the day, go home in your car or on public transport.  When you get home, you may unwind, spend time with your family, start dinner, then perhaps watch TV and finally go to bed. There are probably other things you do in your daily routine and ever...

MY TOMATO BLEND (ÈLÒ) So, today we will try something a bit different. We will prepare a base and not a meal. In my cooking classes, I always teach this in my very first class as I tend to refer to it a lot. It is my Tomato Blend. What is this Tomato Blend? Well, in Western Nigeria where I am from, we always use this Tomato Blend as the base for our stews and we call it èlò obè (meaning the blend that makes stews). Anyway, it comes in very handy in many recipes and I will referring to it in the next few recipes. It is the reason why our stews (some call them sauces), are thick instead of watery.  Every Nigerian woman uses the combo of tomato, onions, red bell (tàtàsé) and habanero (ata rodo), to make their own special èlò (Tomato Blend) and it is so interesting how everyone's stew varies in taste based on how they are combined. Some use more tomatoes, others use more habaneros so their stews are hot and some use a lot more red bell (tàtàsé). Some use very little onion, while others...

  A Happy Home: A Fairytale or Reality Every week there is a wedding. Every week people start relationships and every week people get engaged. When a guy asks a girl out on a date and the girl agrees, one or both parties are hopeful. When a guy asks his girlfriend to marry him and she says ‘Yes’, the couple expect that it will be the beginning of a great life. They begin to plan for their wedding but often, they know more about the perfect wedding than about having a good home. Many couples are more concerned about how they will look on their wedding day than about anything else. They care more about social media and how they will be perceived than about what is really going on in their home. On their wedding day, couples pledge their love and commitment, and take vows expecting that this will be for life. Unfortunately, statistics show that the average length of marriages is now 8 years. That means that after 8 years, many marriages head for divorce. There are even marriages that ...

A Good Report  In 2013 for a period about five months, I would listen to the same message every single night. I just felt I needed to keep hearing that message, so it was my lullaby every single night for months. The message was called “Believing the Report of the Lord” and it was by Keith Moore. It started with this scripture from Isaiah 53 and verse 1. “Who has believed our report? And to whom has the arm of the Lord been revealed?” A report is a powerful thing. When we were young and in primary school, we knew that at the end of every term, we would be given a report card. This report card showed all parents how well or how badly their children had performed in the course of the term. The report card covered the progress of every child throughout the given term and in my family, bad report cards got us punished. You went home with that report trembling and scared, worried what my parents (especially my father) would do.  As I got older, the power of the report card did not ...

  Egg and Tomato Sandwich  So, for our first recipe we are going to try something very simple but unbelievably delicious. Our ingredients are so simple that everyone can get them. This was the very first recipe I learnt from my mother in-law in my first year of marriage. It was very simple to make but I was shocked at how delicious it was.  I was at their home when they had guests and she wanted to make something that would not take so long but that tasted delicious.  INGREDIENTS  A loaf of sliced bread  (You can use white or brown bread though white bread is what I'll be using) 4 Hard boiled Eggs 4 Medium size Tomatoes (The tomatoes need to be ripe and FIRM) Margarine, Butter or Mayonnaise  (I have used all three at different times and all work beautifully) Salt Black Pepper (Optional) How to Make:  First, boil your eggs. Make sure when you put the eggs in water that they don't float. If they do, they are bad so throw them out. The eggs should si...