Make your own love story

Love stories are wonderful and as a young girl in highschool, I was addicted love stories. 

There were these romance novels called Mills and Boon and I had an insatiable appetite for them. I read hundreds of Mills and Boon even when I had exams!!! Studying for an exam was only exciting IF I had a Mills and Boon to read by the side. It's a miracle that I passed my GCE exams because I read more Mills and Boon than my books. 

Once I got into University though, there wasn't that much time to read novels. There were lectures and tutorials to attend, assignments to finish and there were loads of studying to be done, so I slowly stopped reading Mills and Boon romance novels and had to read my school books instead. I haven't read Mills and Boon for decades but the years of reading those novels in highschool had an impact. I thought nothing of it until I began to think of the sort of man I would marry. 

That was when I realized that Mills and Boon had sown a seed in me. I was now looking for a Mills and Boon man. You know the guy right? Tall, dark and handsome with impeccable manners. Every guy that show up was measured against my Mills and Boon guy but there was no such guy in real life.

When my husband showed up, I said an outright No. I did not want to be distracted by the wrong guy who would then reduce my chances of finding Mr. Perfect. As a result, I said gave him a hard time and said 'No' for months, even after I said 'Yes'!!!! I had forgotten that once you start to go out with a guy, you stop looking at other guys hoping for a better fit. You make the guy or girl you have your Mr. or Miss. Perfect but that's a story for another day. 

I wanted Mr. Perfect at all cost and measured him by my Mills and Boon guy. Over time, after we started our relationship, I came to realize that you are the one who makes your partner your Mr. or Miss. Perfect but that you do so mainly by working on yourself. Strange right? 

It was one of my biggest lesson in the first year of marriage; that you cannot change somebody else but you can change yourself. You can be the best version of you and love your partner unconditionally just like God loves you. Not an easy feat but very doable. As you focus on becoming a better you, you stress less, becoming more understanding, more forgiving and you become easier to live with!

As a result, your partner begins to adjust to the new you, responding in an amazing way to who you are becoming. As I stopped fussing over little things - dishes left on the table, dirty laundry, toothpaste that never had their caps screwed back on, the man began to change. As he changed, we gelled better, and began to love and appreciate each other more. The more we gave of ourselves, the better and more beautiful and deeper our love grew until we had our own beautiful love story. Are we perfect? Absolutely not! However, we have given each room to become better and have chosen to love each other unconditionally. 

It's been 32 years since we got married but now we are closer, more caring of each other, we respect each other greatly and look out for each other. And now he has truly become my Mr. Perfect and I have become his Mrs. Perfect. We have made our own love story and it keeps getting better. 

You can make your own love story too but do not allow any external influences to cloud your vision. Make your own love story without comparing your partner or home to others. The things you fuss over may be more serious than dishes or dirty laundry but determine to change YOU first. Seek help by all means but let the change start with you.